Now this is the way I want to feel.
This morning, I woke up with a serenity I had not felt in months. The whole day was so quiet, so peaceful.
In these states I know what I want to do with my life, with calm certainty. However, I always forget in the hustle and bustle of life. I don't think I have time for my deepest dreams. It's not that I don't want the things that I go after, it's just that, at my simplest level, I want to do simple things.
I've also been abhoring packaged food. I just want to live on the land and grow my own. I looked at a package of raw flaxseed snack for almost $6.00 and I cringed. It was an irritating experience to know that I knew how to make the very thing that was sitting before me, almost taunting me, saying "Yeah, I'm $6.00, watcha gonna do about it?" I'd like to sum up this paragraph with the words of Hawah Kasat: “Personally, I feel better when I’m living simply and not being a consumer.”
I want to make things. I want to prepare food. I have a good sense of taste, and I eat raw vegan, so I can find a way to make a tasty version of some cooked foods or processed snacks.
I find that, when I'm in these states of peace, I feel much more comfortable with being social. I see the social sphere as a natural expansion of myself, that I engage when I choose.
Unfortunately (on the surface), I tend to feel this way during a retrograde period. In astrology, the retrograde period happens when a planet appears to be moving backward in the sky. Any planet in retrograde signifies a period of rest, review, meditation, inward journeys.
Retrograde periods tune into the right brain wisdom; this is why, for many, things get f'ed up during a retrograde. They aren't used to operating from creativity and imagination, trust and faith in the Universe.
Truly a retrograde period asks these qualities of us when it occurs. But I digress.
I'm writing this because I'm not simply a guy that knows stuff. I'm a human being with feelings (though I could tap into them much more).
Though the retrograde period feels more natural for me in many ways, it doesn't mean that the consciousness has to go away within me. I can make it a practice to honor my deepest values, and to pursue them while maintaining a calm, clear mind.
You know what's funny about that practice? It leads to a lifestyle where I don't put so much life-or-death emphasis on money.
Sure, I want it, it grants superpowers that allow me to expand beyond domestic and local affairs.
But it's not the be-all-end-all.
Hey, you out there. This is important. I think I might forget this deep dream again.
Sure I wrote in down in my blog, but, don't let me slip and forget. If you ever get a chance, remind me.
Just throwing it out there.